Dr, No!

We have a 007 themed Murder Mystery script and I have been playing with ideas recently. The following idea would not really work in the context of our event but it is fun if you are a bit of a grammar pedant, or perhaps not. Please let me know what you think:

Setting: A villain’s lair.

Villain: ‘Ah, Mr Bond, I have been expecting you.’

Bond: ‘Feltodd!’

F: ‘Indeed. Now, at our last meeting I must have been unclear in some way, so let me be pacific …’

B: ‘Specific’

F: ‘What?’

B: ‘Specific. You said pacific which is an ocean. You mean specific.’

F: ‘Never you mind that, Mr Bond. Allow myself t..’

B: ‘M…’

F: Shushes … ‘to be specific.’

‘Our nuclear transfibulator is now bigger, better and more deadly!’

B: ‘Than?’

F: ‘What do you mean ‘than’?’

B: ‘What is it bigger, better and more deadly than? You’ve used an incomplete comparison.’

F: ‘Mr Bond, you continue to provoke me. I am not the sort of man that will tolerate such beh …’

B: ‘Man who …’

F: ‘Mr Bond! Please, less interruptions!’

B: ‘Fewer inter’

F: ‘I insist! No farther such beh …’

B: ‘Further.’

F: ‘Mr Bond, these continual inter …’

B: ‘Continuous’

F: ‘will result in … oh just forget it’ [Shoots Bond]

Feltodd is a genetic mutation of Blofeld and Oddjob. The alternative is a bit X rated!

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1 Comment

Filed under murder mystery, Writing

One response to “Dr, No!

  1. bsaul

    I like this – more, more…

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